2024 Thank you for reading this

 Thank you for reading this

March, 2024

Steven B. Zwickel

It seems like such a simple thing. Someone gives you something or offers you a compliment and you respond with “Thank you.”

People have different reactions to not being thanked. Some ignore it, but others, myself included, take it as a personal affront.

This topic came to mind when I realized I was angry about someone not thanking me for something. I won’t name names, but I sent a young person a special, valuable gift and got no response. Nothing. Not a word. I know the gift was received because I paid for insurance and tracking.

Now I am not going to rant about young people today having no manners, etc. That has become steady fodder for the advice columnists, after weddings and boundary violations. Perhaps an advice columnist would tell me to gently, and non-judgmentally, contact the donee’s parents. What could I say to them that wouldn’t sound like I’m criticizing their parenting skills? Better to keep silent and wait for the anger to dissipate.

Why does it matter? It matters because giving and receiving are part of an interpersonal transaction. The giving of a gift or kind remark creates a kind of debt, which can be repaid by saying thanks. The debt is cancelled with “You’re welcome.”

I don’t think most of us are natural thankers and I think thanking people is something that must be taught to children. My parents did a pretty good job of teaching me to say thank you and to write thank you notes. 

I have few regrets in life, but I do feel bad about the times I can remember being less than gracious. {The Spanish word for “thank you” is, of course, gracias}. I wish I had done a better job of showing appreciation for a gift or compliment.

2024 Better Than What?

Better Than What?

Steven B. Zwickel.

March, 2024 

I think it started years ago when I was shopping at Sears. A young salesman was pitching something to me. He listed the “features” of whatever it was and then told me, “You should buy this; it’s better!” 

I muttered some kind of response and left, but it got me to thinking. Why should I take his word for it that what he had to sell was better? How could he possibly know that what I already had wasn’t adequate for my needs?

Of course he couldn’t know. The whole point of his sales pitch was to make me dissatisfied with what I had so I would buy something “new and improved” from him.

This got me to tuning in to situations where people were trying to get me to buy something. I realized that the vast majority of the ads I saw, heard, and read in different media were all trying to do the same thing, namely make me feel discontented.

I started paying closer attention whenever someone, not just advertisers, used the word better. The more I heard the word, the angrier I became. “Do NOT tell me that something is better,” I wanted to say. “I will be the one to decide what is better for me!”

Here’s an example of what I am talking about: I was content listening to music on vinyl discs, but they got scratched and it was easy to break them. So, when audiotape cassettes became available, I realized that they were better for someone like me. I recorded my LPs on audiotape. The cassettes were small, portable, and, when they did wear out all I had to do was make a new recording.

The arrival of CDs didn’t move me to become a customer, at first. The digital sound, to my untrained ear, had a mechanical quality. I preferred analog. People insisted that CDs were better, but I was unconvinced. It wasn’t until I inherited a large collection of CDs that I decided to buy a machine that could play them. I still don’t think digital is better than analog, but it is more convenient.

I am not anti-technology; in fact, I really love playing with new toys, especially those that provide an outlet for creativity. But I see no reason to jump in just because something is popular. I reserve the right to decide what is better, so you won’t find me on social media or carrying a smartphone. Many people have tried to convince me that I need to do so, but no one has been able to show me that it is really any better than what I already use.

In a similar vein, I have decided to resist reading about anything that an author labels “important.” As soon as I get to the word important, I stop reading. I think I should be the one to decide if an artist, an event, or a publication is important. 

I feel the same way about anything called significant and I am very wary of anything referred to as iconic. Can something be significant or iconic if I’ve never heard of it? I think I should be the one to determine if something is significant or iconic.

After you have read all the way through this important essay, I assure you that your life will be better than it was!