Stupid People do Stupid Things
"Stupid people do stupid things" is kind of obvious. Even when they fail, they may continue to do stupid things, not realizing that what they are doing doesn't work, but that's what you'd expect from stupid people, so it's no surprise.
What surprises me, though, is when smart people do really stupid things.
Some examples I have seen otherwise clever people do:
#2 "innovated" and ran a successful, family-owned business into the ground, and
#3 disregarded the advice of an attorney [who charged them a lot] so they lost their house, their jobs, and their savings.
Why does this happen?
I think smart folks do stupid things for a variety of reasons.
- Sometimes they are trying to show off how really clever they are.
- Other times greed, envy, jealousy, or a desire for revenge makes them do stupid stuff.
- Irrational and counter-productive behavior may also have something to do with getting back at someone or some institution, even when doing so is sure to have negative consequences.
- There are those who are so wedded to one way of thinking or doing (or too lazy) they can’t absorb new information; thus, they stupid things because they are unable to adapt to changing conditions.
Perhaps these smart people are making decisions based on emotion when logic and reason would lead them in a better direction.
Or, it could come from being overconfident and disregarding the possibility that they could be wrong, like failing to conduct due diligence before acting.
- Chest pains and won't go to a doctor? In denial? Maybe trying to show he's smarter than some dumb MD??
- Depressed and suicidal but "doesn't believe in all that pseudo-science psychology stuff".
- Caught in a long-term pattern and can't break out, so "never needed a dentist and don't need one now"
- Can't admit he or she might have been wrong. "Got a real deal on this watch; just $100 in cash for a real designer classic timepiece that retails for over $2,000!"
Yipes!!
I asked my AI pal why smart people do stupid things and this was my answer:
I can offer several reasons why smart people sometimes do stupid things.
- Smart people are not immune to emotion. Even the most intelligent people can make decisions based on emotion rather than logic. For example, someone who is feeling angry may say or do something that they later regret.
- Smart people can be overconfident. Sometimes, smart people are so confident in their own abilities that they make decisions without considering all of the possible outcomes. This can lead to them making mistakes.
- Smart people can be lazy. Sometimes, smart people take shortcuts or make decisions without thinking things through carefully. This can lead to them making mistakes.
- Smart people can be influenced by others. Smart people are not immune to the influence of others. They may make decisions based on what they think others want them to do, rather than what they actually believe is the best course of action.
It is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, regardless of their intelligence. However, smart people are often in positions of power and influence, so their mistakes can have a greater impact on others. It is important for smart people to be aware of their own limitations and to take steps to avoid making stupid decisions.
Nowadays, it is very easy for people to search online for evidence that supports a stupid decision. This is called "confirmation bias" and it is defined as when "individuals actively seek, interpret, and favor information that confirms their pre-existing beliefs while ignoring contradictory data." {Wikipedia}
What can you say?
It is not easy to talk to someone who is thinking about doing something stupid. In fact, my experience has been that most people don't really want advice and those who ask for advice want to be told that what they want to do (or have already done!) is OK. If you try to burst their bubble with facts, you may end that relationship for good.
I try to be supportive and nonjudgmental. I usually offer people a choice: "Do you just want me to listen to your plan?; Do you want reassurance?; or Do you really want my opinion?
➤ Of course, if they are planning to do something illegal or to harm themselves or another person, I take a different, much stronger approach.
If the person is still intent on doing something stupid, I would try to talk them out of it. I would explain the potential consequences of their actions and try to get them to see that there are better ways to deal with their situation. However, ultimately, the decision is up to them. I can only offer my advice and support.
I'd rather avoid giving advice if I can
It can be difficult to give advice, especially when you don't know the full situation. If you don't want to give advice, there are some things you can do:
- Listen to the person and let them know that you care. Don't interrupt them or try to offer solutions. Just listen. As they articulate their plans, they may start to realize how stupid they sound. Maybe.
- Be empathetic and try to understand how the person is feeling and why they are thinking of doing something stupid.
- Offer support, especially for smarter alternatives. Let them you are there for them and that you will help them through this, whatever they decide to do [as long as they are not planning to do something illegal or to harm themselves or another person.]
➤ Try not to take responsibility for the person's actions. After all, the decision is up to them.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
This quote is attributed to Albert Einstein, but there is no evidence he ever said or wrote it.
An internet search for the real source got this response:
The quote likely originated from the following sources in the early 1980s:
- Narcotics Anonymous (1981): A version appeared in a Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet: "Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results".
- Rita Mae Brown (1983): The novelist used the phrase in her book Sudden Death, attributing it to a fictional character named Jane Fulton.
- Alcoholics Anonymous: Some researchers trace its oral tradition back to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings as early as 1980.
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